Don’t Judge Her.

Watch that girl that has a compulsive need to be seen. Watch that girl that has a come back for everything. I know you loathe her guts and you are eager to teach her a lesson or two. Her presence is a continuous reminder that life is indeed littered with the ugly and the ugly…

For Those Who Monitor Other People’s Progress.

You monitor other people’s becoming but you never lend a hand. You are watching them transform and progress, but you never contribute to their journey. But the moment they tweet, write, sing, say something that you don’t agree with, you are quick to judge them and call them out. You retweet their blunders and host…

Quirks.

I am lazy when it comes to nurturing small talks here and there but because I have a thing for conversations, and in Nigeria, small talk precedes the kind of conversations that leaves you full of knowledge, the kind that has the inherent power to tweak your life I have to endure. Endure … As an…

Still Saving the Honey For The Moon and Then Some…

How does commercial sex play out? I get sex is potential value and anything that has value is worth being exchanged for money. But then again, how does trading sex in exchange for money feel? I have heard some sex workers recount tales about how it all works but because I am that crazy woman…

Opinions.

You are entitled to rights. You have a right to think. You have a right to come into your own and own your thoughts. You have a right to have opinions. You have a right to choose to air your opinions. You do not have a right to give your opinions when it is not solicited….

Nuance.

 There are some places you shouldn’t feel at home even though you have been told to. You are not accepted there, and your host will not say it. To come out plainly to say we don’t want you in our home is to breach social etiquette and to breach social etiquette is to let the…

When I Eventually Meet Chimamanda…

When I eventually meet Chimamanda, some six questions I could ask: 1. Greatest defining moment of your life? 2. Do your friends chose you or do you chose them and if you do, what factors (apart from being a lover of books) do you consider before asking for their hand in friendship? 3. If feminism…

Choices.

I currently live in a regimented environment, and with environments of this nature comes rules and templates of ‘doing‘ and ‘being‘. There is an unvoiced and voiced modifying of behavior everyone in this environment has to undergo. Your behavior has to align to the code of conduct. I have broken the rules more times than…

Millenials, Our Parents are Using Us to Fight Their Battles.

Our parents get into battles they cannot finish and then enlist us to complete it for them. So at 50,  it is no longer about being married to the best man, driving the classiest cars and living in the choicest, areas. It is now, “My daughter is doing better than yours, I told you.” “My…

Limbo.

Dear Diary: January 31st, 2018. Room Alone, Kano State, Nigeria. There is a name for a feeling that isn’t sadness or joy or indifference. You are just placid, you are unmoved about things that matter, your passion is depleted, your energy level is beyond red, and I am tired is now an anthem. Your zeal…