* I wrote this post 13 days ago, I just touched it up and added more things*
1. Finally, make a list of
I. What I will never do for money.
ii. What I will never do for approval.
iii. What I am uncomfortable with and why.
iv. What I didn’t do in the last 366 days because of fear.
V. What I have to unlearn and correct from my childhood.
I will merge the first and second list- What I will never do for money and approval are kinda like intertwined
2. Live a life of Brave Vulnerability.
I.’I’m fine’, ‘i’m okay’ when I am not doesn’t cut it anymore. I will learn to say ‘I am not fine’, ‘I am not okay’; it is not something you are responsible for or can fix, I just need to go slow for a while and I will be fine.
ii. Somedays, I will sleep through the alarm and not feel guilty. God is in rest too.
iii. I will refuse to be shamed or made to feel like a fraud because I’m a christian that feels like having sex. I will also continue to own my resolve and REFUSE to be outshouted on my purity journey.
iv. I will refuse to be dragged into drama and pettiness. To achieve this:
- Clarify those thing that brings awkwardness and strife on the spot.
- Draw the lines between being a confidant and just a person that people can offload ‘gist’ to. The burden that comes with recieving some kind of gist is way too heavy. I’m young, and I intend to live long.
- Make excuses for people.
- Learn the difference between confronting the issue and the person. E.g There is everything right with you hun! Your message just came across as….
- Be more intentional about NOT discussing someone’s ‘ooops’ with another person before talking to the person especially doing it in the name of counsel.
i.e refusing to be a gossip, even if its good intentioned.
3. Allow my mom have her way especially when she insists a good girl is a human equivalent of a donkey. Never speaks up when she’s wronged, never gets angry, is ALWAYS patient and calm and composed and sweet and wakes up early and always does the dishes and has zero opinions blah blah blah
The way I love my mum baffles me too… hahahaha.
4. Own and live my truth very resolutely.
5. Understand that wisdom has a booking agent and that explains why it doesn’t make many appearances.
To this end…
i. Be slow to speak, learn to listen more and pay a lot of attention to details.
ii. That need to explain myself one billion times just because I am towing an unconventional/ unpopular route so she understands that ‘I still have sense and I know what i’m doing’ is going outta the window.
iii. Build my resolve to stay consecrated and embrace what God has called me to do even if for a season it looks and sounds ‘off’.
To achieve this, I must accept that It is first Dee of God, by God and for God, before it’s Dee of the people, by the people and for the people. My life is not a democracy.
iv. Build zero capacity to care for things of no consequence ESPECIALLY things that has no bearing on who I will become in the next five years.
v. Build myself. I learnt from my momma very recently, that I can be ANY FRIGGIN THING I WANT TO BE IN LIFE.
A N Y T H I N G!!!
That means I am limitless because I am a child of God, I can’t be confined to one thing, or labeled as one thing only. ‘One thing’ is too minute to define me; I can be ANYTHING!!!
This revelation has done something in me that words cannot scribe.
To achieve this, I am working on my personality. I’m going full on. Wisdom is, even though I know I do not necessarily need a human to validate the authenticity of my uniqueness, I NEED to LEARN how to communicate my uniqueness in a way that it can be VERY appreciated. I am definately reading more books this year and listening to more tapes too. I’m so confident, God will bring me more teachers this year and that means I need to assume a posture of the spirit called ALERT. And as I listen to them and watch out for the patterns that has given them the results they have, I will STAY intentional about spending time in the word and being berean. For the kind of woman I want to become and for the kind of life I want to live, I need to be GROUNDED..my roots need to go in deep.
vi. Finally, accept that Instagram is not that serious.
6. Will review this list quarterly to see if I am on track and prepare for the next quarter.
7. Save this post for offline reading, in case life begins to happen. In which case, a printed list of this will be much more ‘realistic’
I chronicle my walk with God using blogging as a platform; my writings make me see me and understand me more coherently, I pray it does same for you too.
Happy new year..
I know it is thirteen days late but you get the gist..Lol
I love you too.