As with most things in life, sex comes with expectations. You go into sex with an expectation of how it should be, how you should feel and all other stuff in between.
And then you get disappointed. The problem wasn’t sex, the problem was your expectations. Your expectations disappointed you. A lot of what people call sexual incompatibility is heightened expectations of sex that wasn’t met.

A wiser, older, matured, married woman once told me. When you eventually decide to have sex, go in with a blank mind. There is a name for that expression.
Tabular rasa.
Go in with the mind set of I want to learn, I want to explore.

I have stumbled on sex in differing ways and usually they don’t appeal to me. I guess it is because of the way it is projected. I see sex as worship. There is something private and intimate about sex that makes it repulsive to watch when it is cheaply commonised and reduced to a 20 seconds flick used to drive traffic and increase ratings. I think sex deserves to be respected. It should be sacred and kept within the confines of marriage.

The practical reality of sex is not familiar to me. I am saving the honey for the moon and when I eventually do want to explore, I am going to attend a sex school. Sounds crazy but I am going to milk the experience dry and wring it for what its worth.

Those graphic representations of sex we see in the media are rarely true.Premarital sex is made to look cool and hip and trendy. If you are wise and very observant you will realize that that is just an advertising strategy, a media stunt. The media trades in perception and rarely, very rarely does perception  co-incide with reality absolutely.

Sex is overrated before marriage and quite underrated in marriage.
One day, I will share a story of how sex outside of marriage is overhyped.
Someone remind me to share that story…



3 Comments Add yours

  1. “Sex is overrated before marriage and quite underrated in marriage” that’s deep you have me thinking now.
    I’m 50/50 when it comes to fornication. I do believe that if people waited until marriage to have sex, the world be a better place. Dating would be a lot safer.
    I have a question though
    Do you think bad sex in a marriage or lack or sex could end in divorce?
    Do you think it’s right for anybody to divorce their spouse if their spouse was not willing to improve in the sex department or if the spouse only cared about their needs in the bedroom?


    1. Lily says:

      U gave really thought provoking questions that can only be answered with deeper insight. One thing I hold true is that during dating when sex is left on the book shelf, we are more likely to know each other on a more deeper level. Alas, it is quite the opposite when we get into it quite early, we are not able to discern properly who the person underneath that skin is.Taking our time to know the real person in thoughtful conversation can help us know each other well.
      From a struggling Jesus lover.


      1. Dee. says:

        Very true!!
        Thanks for stopping by.


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