Most of the things we do are born out of the things we heard or see other people do. It was taught to us either formally or informally.
I have observed and learned that being yourself is not something that is taught. There is a sense in which it cannot be explained either, no matter how much you try.
The full texture of some things cannot be captured with words.
You can try to define it though, I did and what I came up with is Authenticity.
The question to even begin with is:
What does it mean to ‘be yourself’? And to answer this question, you need to answer first:
What does it mean to ‘be’
So put together, the question is:
How do you know how to be yourself when you don’t know what it means to ‘be‘ and how to ‘be‘.
I believe the term being yourself came up because some people decided to ditch the script on how to be, and just live. At the time, these people did not know they were being themselves because being yourself comes with a level of spontaneity. These people just got tired of the way they were taught to ‘be‘, they decided to just be the version of themselves they believed came more natural to them. They decided to live and act outside of the box. That box may represent many things to many people but they did it all the same.
A lot of times in trying to be ourselves, what we end up doing is rehearsing someone else’s authenticity. We live out someone else’s version of what being yourself is and should be because being yourself is something a lot of us aspire to. The problem with this is after a while, you start to get hangovers.
Social and personality hangovers.
I believe being yourself is not something that is performed or rehearsed. It is not something you try to do. It just flows naturally. There are times you have to be intentional about not pretending and just doing you, for the most part though being yourself just flows. A good synonym for it will be Spontaneity.
The person you are when no one is watching, how you act in an environment where no one is watching you to know if you measure up or not, how you behave when there is no pressure to be liked or accepted is being yourself.
My thoughts might evolve over time and they should, but for now this is
my own version of events(thanks Emeli Sande) my own version of what being yourself is.