If only your mentors knew you were using their life to chart a new course.
If only they knew that you observe them keenly.
If only they knew that something you cannot define or explain draws you to them.
If only they knew you were studying them.
If only they knew that they are life textbooks.
Like a diligent student, you are noting the patterns.
You are connecting the dots.
They don’t know you do.
They don’t know you do because they don’t know you.
They probably don’t even know you exist.
Social media came and made life simple. Accessing someone’s wisdom who is in another continent became really easy.
So, you are noting the trends.
You are combing out the patterns.
You are progressing your life by running with a wisdom you have accumulated just by studying a life textbook.
You are gleaning virtue from a mentor who will never know She has a mentee like you.
They don’t know you are watching them because they have never thought in those terms before.
It just never occurred to them that they could be watched.
It never occurred to them there was something worth watching about them.
Just like you, they are just living their lives as honestly and as authentically as they can afford.
They never in their wildest imagination believed the life they regard as simple everyday life can cause a change of heart.
A change in your belief system.
A change in your value system.
A change in your thought pattern.
This life is twisted.
The person you look up to doesn’t know there is something worth looking up to in her.
Life is really twisted
And you know, that is the beauty of it all.
The unawareness, the unguardedness.
The purity in the motives.
The purity in the authenticity.
The innocence of it all.
Their authenticity inspires you without their consent.
They don’t even believe they exhibit traits you should aspire to to start with.
They don’t see themselves the same way you do.
It is understandable because they know themselves.
The truth is no human can know you the way you know yourself.
Only you really knows you.
Only you know you are a hot mess.
That is what they don’t realize.
That their mess, their flaws, reminds you of their humanity and encourages you to be inspite of it all.
They see it as a hot mess but you see it as because of this, I too can do it.
Your mentors don’t know there is something in them that you can lay a demand on.
They believe they are ordinary, just like you.
But you know they are not.
You know just like you know your name, that they are not.
Now, let’s reverse this.
People are watching you.
They are observing you.
They are taking notes.
They are gleaning wisdom.
You are a mentor to so many people you don’t know and may never know.
Your life is a walking conviction.
But you don’t know.
And the obliviousness of it all makes it more attractive.
The same way you stalk your mentors privately, sometimes in the wee hours of the morning, going through every post, every line in that book, every post on Instagram and Facebook, every lyrics, every tweet is the same way they are stalking you.
There is something about you, you might be oblivious to.
That you are oblivious to it doesn’t mean it is not there.
You are not ordinary.
Trust me, you are not ordinary.
Your life is not as bland as you think.
Your life is not as flawed as you think.
Your flaws are not as obvious as you think.
Your authenticity is not as common as you think.
The scars you’ve had to wear publicly as a consequence of bad choices are not as ugly as you think.
You are not as bad as you paint yourself to be.
Be comforted, you too are inspiring lives just by being you.