Dear Diary: Deep Thoughts.

Some of my craziest thoughts are locked up in heaps and piles of journals, others on the Document app of my phone. Some occasionally, make their way to my laptop and many others are locked up in my heart.

It reads funny but there are times, lot of times actually, I do not want to write and when I do write, I do not want them displayed for an audience to read. At times, I just want my writings for my own consumption only. Reading my own thoughts helps me process my growth. It is therapeutic. The art of baring thoughts, baring the intangible into tangible- a form of tangible, does something to me that goes in deep.

I realize however that I do not have to want to write, I need to. My life and that of many others depends on it.

My writings are not a display of skills. It is rarely about a demonstration of creativity than it is about writing a word in season. It is not about stringing words together and creating a resonance that hits deep. It is more than that. Way more than that.

I express purpose through my writings and it explains why I take it seriously. I aim to change, challenge, renew and redefine conventional wisdom and thinking and writing is a primary tool.

For this season I realize, I need to write. Writing is priority and it must not be misplaced.

I am currently in a partnership with God. He provides ideas, insights and concept, I express them by writing them out. The frequency of the inspiration I get equals the frequency of my writings. A lot of the writings that go down here daily were written weeks back and scheduled for publishing. The way it works, He provides content, I write, schedule for publishing and go about my life.

Currently I have a backlog of scheduled writings awaiting publishing.

Partnering with God takes my sense of responsibility to a whole new level. It makes demands of me and so at times I find myself creating content at 2am in the morning or running to the toilet at work to write out few things on my phone.

My life is not mine, so when He says write, I write.

He is however not unreasonable so at times He brings the flow on my way home from work, with my earphones plugged and I Will Find you by Lecrae and Tori Kelly blaring in the background.

My writing a lot of times are instructional. They are meant to spur you to think. They are meant  to present alternative ways of thinking, seeing and understanding things.

The mind is powerful. If you can learn to understand the dynamics of the mind, of your mind and master it, you are made.

At 23, I wish I knew what I know now at 16.  I wish. I am behind schedule and that fuels at times, the urgency in my writings.

Importantly, I do not want to waste time writing on lost causes or fads that fades with time.

I want to write about things I wish I knew earlier in life and make those writings serve as a life tour guide for people like me.

I want to write about things that people have decided to express with silence out of fear.

I want to write about things I wish someone else wrote to guide my choices as a divergent young adult.

I want to write about things that I care about, things that get me excited, things that elicit conflicting emotions from me.

I want to write about things that get me reading in the wee hours of the morning.

I want to write about things that are important to me, things that very really deeply matters to me.

I want to write about norms that drives me nuts and create conversations about them, conversations that can fuel change.

I want to express divinity through my writings.

I want to make it easier for people to find God and sustain a relationship with Him.

I want God to read my writings and be proud of me.


One Comment Add yours

  1. Tamie says:

    This is one of my favorite posts. It resonates with me on so many levels.
    Actively journaling has been a blessing in recent times.

    Love the new look of your space.


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