Friendships, Seasons and Discernment.

I let go of a friend over a year ago. I knew the friendship had served it’s purpose and we both needed to move on. I knew early on that it was a seasonal friendship and so when it was time to move on, there was no fight or drama. It was an instant letting go on my part and babe reached out severally to me to know what was going on. I wanted her to move on and letting go first was the best way to make that happen.

She eventually had to catch up with the reality that I was gone and so she moved on. I think.

It was one of those friendships I knew we weren’t going to be having periodic reviews and flashbacks in form of:

How are you doing now?

Where do you work?

How is the boo?

I knew it was going to be a total letting go and with it it came, fading memories and maybe booking some into oblivion.

Very recently, I started introspecting about that particular friendship and I realized, letting go wasn’t just because I thought the purpose of the friendship was fulfilled. Letting go was also because I was undergoing a transition and I did not trust her to treat the new person I had become the way I wanted to. I had tried explaining over and over again until almost all our conversations became an interview. I was tired, I was weak, I was drained, I was exhausted. At some point, I was willing to compromise, I just wanted her to be my friend anyhow she could afford to, I wanted the friendship, but it was not easy for her too. She did not know how to be my friend anymore and I had run out of ideas on how to respond to her.

So I let go.

It felt awkward at  the time but now with the gift of hindsight, I realize that you can feel wrong and do what is right.

If I didn’t let go at the point I did, that friendship would have been for her a burden and for me now a weight.

That experience taught me that not everyone is in my life to stay forever and that some kinds of discomfort is God’s way of saying: It’s time to move into a new season.

 

 

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