Dear Diary: Highlight Reel.

I have my moments.

Moments where I doubt myself and my abilities.

That I blog everyday doesn’t mean I write everyday.

It just seems so.

Most times, I decide to write, I do not want to write, but I have to.

Laziness and I are in a love-hate relationship.

Some days inspiration hits me and laziness wants me down for a mental spin and many times I oblige only to realize, this is not about me.

This is not about how I feel . This is about what I should feel and so on most days I tutor my feelings on what to feel and when.

It is tough. My flesh doesn’t want to be disciplined, heck I don’t want to be disciplined.

Discipline is painful, it always costs something.

For me discipline costs me sleep and relationships.

It is hard.

To you, it probably seems like wow

To me, I just sigh.

You may probably also think she has it all together.

That is so far from the truth. It may read like I have it all together but I do not and I love the freedom that comes from knowing that I do not need to have my life all together. .

Has anyone noticed lot of things in life actually seem like than they are real.

Truth is no one has it all together.

 

I have my struggles.

I have my frailties.

There are times I think I am not well equipped to be me, to be all I can be.

I doubt myself at times.

I doubt if my ambitions are worth pursuing.

I doubt if they are even right to have to even begin with.

Some days I am more aware of my mortality than I am what I can do with it.

Other days I struggle with my  dips.

I struggle with communicating my uniqueness.

I struggle with being different.

I struggle with choices, understanding the difference between right and almost right.

It is tough.

It actually is tough.

Someone please remind me to write on the complexities that comes with being a creative.

Do not make the mistake of thinking it is just you, it is just you that is this way or going through this.

It is not just you girl.

We all go through stuffs and that is  why we need each other.

First to burn the highlight reel, to allow others see the not so pretty parts and then to give them the psychological permission to find solace in the fact that we are human and we all have those moments.

We are all becoming and we are all in this thing called life.

Passing the baton…

What is your highlight reel?

Let’s burn it together.

Advertisements

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Toolz says:

    Thank you for this post!!!!!!!

    Like

  2. requ1ne says:

    “Discipline is painful, it always costs something.”

    Absolutely!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s