I ditched assertiveness a couple of times in the past year.
I just wanted to intentionally experience what it feels like to be without a voice. I really wanted to understand what it feels like to be walked over, taken for granted, to be on the lower rung of the ladder in terms of economic and social relevace. I wanted to know how it feels to be looked down on and to be thought of as a misfit.
You know what I gathered?
Too many people don’t have time to nuture the feelings of others. We are so consumed by our needs and goals we unconciously refuse to acknowledge the humanity of those we feel are beneath us.
At times, we genuinely want to care and understand what it feels like to be on their level but the truth is we don’t want to be them. And to be able to feel to a large extent what they feel, to be able to lend them a voice, we need to stoop.
That stooping is a discomfort. A humiliating discomfort at times. The discomfort springs from knowing that we have a choice not to be them.
The whole concept of us and them validates it all.
That experience has taught me about life and kindness. Life actually, is in phases and people are in levels. They may not be on that level but I do not have to constantly remind them they have no place on this side of the divide.
Muse: Who created divides?
Kindness is a leveler.
It bridges the gap between pedigrees, class and social constructs. It reminds us that, on the scale of mortality, we all are humans.
I have also discovered that kindness, though an emotion is also a decision.
This year going forward, I have decided to be kind to people. Not just to people I deem share similar pedigree with me but to people who are used to been forgotten.
People who have lost touch with the reality of what it means to be us.
People who unconsciously walk around with weights of broken dreams and shattered hopes.
They walk with their shoulders bent with the belief that dreams are for us and life is for them.
People who are used to being misfits, they do not think they deserve acknowledgement and when it does comes, they do not know how to receive it. It just seems awkward.
Going forward, I intend to let go of social walls I have created in order to shut the world out and find myself.
I intend to let go of those walls gradually.
I intend to invite more people in.
I want them to come in for breakfast.
I want them to sit at the table of my life and taste kindness because kindness really does matter.
I want them to understand there are still humans out there who realize the error of their ways- that life is not always about them and people were not created only to serve their wants and fuel their selfishness.
I want them to understand that there are people who know what it means to be them even if fleetingly and are wiiling to share.
Maybe not the stage of their life but their voice.
People who understand what it means to have blood running in their veins.