I recently peeked into the decision making process of an influencer, the exposure I got was so profound, it triggered a lot of thoughts. They were exclusive musings, but I knew I had to write about it here. If you are passionate about authenticity, you should be able to relate with where I am drawing my perspectives from.
Who is a Wannabe?
A wannabe is someone who is attracted to the pomp and glitter of the good life.
You just want a good life and you don’t want it privately, you want it publicly. You like been seen. Not that there is anything wrong with been seen, it’s just that when people do not ‘see’ you or affirm what you are doing or not doing , your self esteem wanes.
A wannabe has a compulsive need to be validated and affirmed.
She doesn’t have a mind of her own. She always wants to be in vogue, follow trends and fads. A wannabe is intrigued by the opinions of others, will do anything not to get on the bad side of people and has a tendency to cheer lead causes just to get attention.
NB: A people pleaser can be a wannabe but is not necessarily a wannabe. Put succinctly, a wannabe has solid people pleasing tendencies.
A wannabe has a thought process that says I want to ride that car so they can know that I too belong. The aspiration is valid but the intent is skewed. She wants to attend trending events so that she can put up pictures alongside that celebrity on the ‘gram. A wannabe thinks, “if I wear that dress, style my hair that way then they will know I am the ‘happening’ woman”.
A wannabe has a low self-esteem, always thrives more in fraternities and cannot bear to be by herself. She doesn’t understand the uniqueness of her individuality, she doesn’t know she is an individual. The strength of her influence is measured the number of cliques she belongs to.
Of course, a wannabe is an active member of the gossip and rumor association of Who The Heck Does She Think She Is, an association, founded by a group of female ‘haters’ who have dedicated their lives to hating on another woman because ‘she did not notice me’.
The reasons you shouldn’t be a wannabe are inexhaustible and cannot be explained thoroughly in a post but I will try. Here are 5 you should consider.
- It freaks people out. You see, because you are too engrossed trying to be someone else, you are oblivious to a lot of things. One important thing you must understand is influential people, people of repute, people of timbre and caliber are authentic and more so are enamored by authenticity. When you come off trying to be like them, you are shooting yourself in the leg.
- You give people room to make assumptions and reach conclusions about you that may not be true. You might not be ‘like that’ or be that ‘kind of person’, but because you have the ‘I must belong’ demeanor, people start to think of you and see you ‘that way’. ICYMI: Real people can spot wannabes miles away.
- It exposes you to unwarranted nonsense. Have you noticed there are some people who have an aura that compels you to adjust? When you are around them, you are compelled not by words but by a force to make your best behavior your only behavior. That aura is called authenticity. See, when you are authentic and real, people can tell. You no longer have to speak or ‘try’ to influence. Your presence speaks more volumes than words can ever do justice to. Guess what? As a wannabe, the reverse is the case. You get treated with dismissal and a polite disdain so humiliating, when you place it side by side with the cost of being authentic, you realize that, you are paying way too high a price sacrificing your individuality for cheap visibility and affirmation.
- Nobody’s life should be that inspiring to make you want to be them in order to be accepted. You should even question the word ‘acceptance’ Accepted by who? why? What attends to being accepted and why should you want it? If you are Christian, you do know you have been accepted right? Which translates to validation and affirmation system running only on His acceptance. Re-read this line, it needs to sink in.
- Being a wannabe is just not worth it. Too much emotional investment with fluffy returns that cannot be sustained. Girl, just be you.